Plan B is the new Plan A
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
