I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
