just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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