Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
