Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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