Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
