I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
FUCK WHALES
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