I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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