There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
