I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
