I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
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composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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