They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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