Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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