8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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