I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
