dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What a dumb baby whore.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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