i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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