She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
