I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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