Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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