Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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