I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
