dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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