I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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