Well douche your snatch and let's go!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
