just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize