I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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