I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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