I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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