And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize