my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
