Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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