I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
