I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
