so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
