When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I will pee on everything he values.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
