you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
