So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
