At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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