Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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