Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
