my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
