Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
