Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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