Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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