oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
