Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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