she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
