ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
