Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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