I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
