mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
