Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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