i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
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Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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