SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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