I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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