Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i love accidental penises.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
