Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
NoShamevember. You game?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
