real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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