We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she peed on how many people?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
