its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
