Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
