Having a random hookup so left but love u
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
