i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
