I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
